i wanted to have my hair done last sunday..but,

i backed out.

courage is all i need. image change is what i want.

i heard and registered this into my mind some time ago.

i begin to feel disgussted with my procrastination and indecisiveness.

if i reli reli want it very badly.. i'll go all out at all costs rite?

even if what i've decided and pursued after is a wrong choice, at least i've made an effort and tried? at least i've did sth and proved tt it has failed?

but no... i'm afraid of failures. i'm afraid of making the wrong choices. choices tt i will make myself feel more miserable n unhappy. i fear in wasting the effort tt is being put in..i fear not being appreciated. i dont wan to retreat to the starting pt where i've alr made a big step..i dont want to hear myself say "i shld hav done this..." "i shld hav done tt instead.." i know i cant take risks.. i'm jus too a scare-dy cat. i noe i noe. kill me.

but i've got to try.. i've got to learn.

i need to make mistakes to grow.. i need to fall to pick myself up.

i need to know how to be strong.

but ouch, its painful.