i have been riding on my mood swings recently.

the most intolerable and disgusted ones.

How long do i need to stop it? i cant let it go on..its eating into me. ALOT.

i'm tired.. tired of expectations.tired of how ppl judge me, how much i am suppose to give in return.

i dont want bad karma.leave me if u can, i wan to be alone.i'm still in self-denial.

christmas, new yr, v-day, lunar new yr...

occassions after occassions. there's sth tt is missing in my life.. the happiness i yearn to have.

"be contented with what u have now" this line kp repeating in my head.. i feel aimless and lost.

i need my direction. mayb a compass will help.

its ages i've updated my blog. its ages i've viewed others' blog.

i'm sorry i'm feeling low again. in any way i didnt wish i am like this.

i've stopped analysing, i've stop trusting every single one. BUT, i dont tink i'm up to it.

i havent been thinking of it. sth triggered it off.

ppl change. i tink i've changed too.

i forgot how it feels like being blissful. i forgot how it feels like being troubles-free.

i forgot the ability to put my all in one thing tt i'm doing. distraught..anger..disgusted.

SO i escape.

i retreated and withdraw myself from any interest in anyone's affairs.

i started to grow on myself..i've even pissed off a handful of ppl with my attitude.

i'm kind of sad and affected by this me.. the happy mask is under repair.

-___________-

i doubted my own ability in work.

the confidence level lies in the red danger zone.

but i still carry on, i still learn along the way and produce whatever i can.

its about making the best out of your mistake?

i am survivng and living with the biggest mistake in my life.. and i am handling it well.

Not the fabulous and wow-wow results, but at least, i'm already half way there.

i need to make changes..i need to meet happy ppl.

its the lunar new yr anywayz.. no such joyous occasion mood felt yet.

no new clothes this yr.. cos of the plain laziness to squeeze in the crowd and queue for the fitting room.. AND none of them catches my eye.