its more than words

- the words -

- the wants -

+ ~~braces~~

- the lovelies -

+ charmie
+ clifton
+ chaowei
+ fabian
+ haolingz
+ horng yunn
+ huisan
+ jabriel
+ jared
+ jamie
+ janessa
+ jolyn
+ KingKongJane
+ marvin
+ mee
+ ninja
+ paul
+ samuel
+ serene
+ sharon
+ sheya
+ sis
+ sophia
+ Teng
+ ning

- the past -

June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
March 2011
December 2011
February 2012
November 2012
January 2013
August 2013

- now playing -

eff.

sometimes i thot i've seen thru human nature.

everyone put on a smiley n nice to approach mask.. n i mean EVERYONE. ah yes, including myself.

tts how sad the so-called intelligent creature living on mother earth is.even if u reli did treat tt someone wif a true heart, does tt person reciprocate wif a true heart? or is he/she jus taking advantage of u? or put it in an uglier word, everyone is jus so FAKE.

i AM effing angry.

over things tt i was not appreciated, over things tt i'm sure i do not deserve it.DONT tell me that's how life is. there were gd times, n of cos, i cant say tt i'm the best ard. its getting on my nerves n i tink i've had enuf of it? wats wif the cant-bear-to-leave feeling? wats wif the cosy feeling tt i felt? wat i kp hearing is those tt i didnt wan to listen. it wont make a difference. cos i am not who i was.. i noe i dont deserve it. i noe wat i want.

do u reap wat u sow?

i begin to question tt. effort = result?

i dont tink so. ppl always say tt putting in effort is gd enuf. at least u put in ur best.

but hur.. is tt jus self-comforting? to me, effort muz equal to result. if result aint there, tt means u fail in it.

u got to be hard on urself to achieve wat u want.

mumbling on
Friday, December 29, 2006 at 8:01 AM

blank empty me

.blank.

.empty.

.expressionless.

.emotionless.

.stoned.
.hollow.

.aimless.

.purposeless.

.worthless.

.me.

mumbling on
Friday, December 22, 2006 at 6:27 AM

cat-feeding issue

i chanced upon a scene where my table of frens are feeding a stray cat at a kopitiam.
n then i thot..
wat if nobody feed those stray cats? n wat if everyone feed them?
either they get extreme hungry or extreme bloated..
n when they sit by ur table looking at u wif those pathetic eyes longing for food..
wat would u do?
stray cats happen to b ard everywhere in the city.. n no doubt they hav their sources for food. but i ever seen cats being so frequently fed tt they blatantly jump up on customers' table n snatch for food -.- okies.. tt might be the most extreme case tt i've come across.. but it was the most scary onez. and some food are not meant for animals' consumption.. mayb too salty or sth or watever.. n who's gonna take responsibility if it dies? o.O
am i thinking too much over a feeding-cat issue?
hurhur~ boring post.

mumbling on
Wednesday, December 13, 2006 at 5:20 AM

attachment...

seriously, i tried many times sitting down n blog.

but somehow.. i jus clear everything away, close the window n went n do other stuff.

i wonder if the way of expressing myself has got worse.

or mayb life's a bit mundane now.. nth reli special is happening.. except, well, its the holidays.

i've got my attachment alr.. Aztech company.. not the china one of cos.

hais.. wanted to go GIP or sth. somewhere tts out of town. i guess my results wont allow me to, and my financial status as well. i was planning to take the 3 months attachment instead of this 6 mths..but before i cld make up my mind n decide, i was given the Aztech company.

i guess i suck big time at decision making. i'll procrastinate n procrastinate until someone decide it for me. it has happened far too many times. i noe i will falter even after the decision is made.. useless me.

many times.. i was forced to accept the decision made by others.

mayb it was my indecisiveness, wishy-washyness, non-persistence, or watever it was.

i know i cannot make it... and i'm working hard on it. i am.

i was talking to aug some days ago..

n we mentioned how each of us changed since the first time we noe each other.. which was like 3 yrs ago. n oOooOo~ how time flies. i'm glad tt i noe certain ppl along the way who helped me so much n always being there for me.i dont mind being a rubbish bin.. tts how she says i am. i dont mind letting her rattling on n on abt her life, abt her probs, simply abt every part of her life tt i've missed. she had seen me gg frm the peak of my life to sinking down to the bottom.. yes, the life's rollercoaster curve will b gg up soon enuf..i cant possibly stay stuck at the bottom. i still am who i was..but mayb grown a little stronger n self-defensive.

i am feeling emotionless.

its the time i'll live for myself..

but.. there's sth yet to b done.

mumbling on
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 at 5:47 AM

wheee~ holiday!

finally.. ITS OVER!!!!!

woohoo~

gone are the days of mugging n burning midnight oil n getting minimum amt of slp n depriving myself frm fun n comp n tv n watever tt was listed under 'distractions'!!!!! keke... time to enjoy my holidays! n den hopefully its attachment alr.. or mayb i'll decide on IO instead.. i cant decide arh! *screams* to undergo 6 mths of attachment or 3 months of attachment+ 2extra electives + an extra sem to clear my 3003 n other elective modules?

-___- tsktsk.

i'm lousy at decision making.. esp if its an impt decision to make.

well well.. i planned to slp 24 hrs after my paper to reward myself frm the loss of slp during this tormenting period . YET.. i went home feeling extreme fatigue, woke up 4 hrs later feeling energetic. hoho~ exams spoiled my bio-clock. but i'm so ultra glad tt i dont hav to mug anymore. haha~ studies aside, its the mth to earn more money n faster clear my debts n bills n get myself a new phone!!! =D

time to...

get back to work//find more tuition assignments//go prawning// go kay tee vee// meet up frens// get a good book to read// go jogging// do some skin care n eye care// go swimming n mayb get a tan// change my hairstyle (i feel like chopping off my hair too.but i dont hav the courage lei.. i reli salute lingz to b so firm wif the decision) // get a belated bday present for sh// buy a new heels// rid those notes n study plan off my table// sit by the beach// look at the stars// smell the flowers// breathe the holiday air// get as much slp as i like// oh! muz go service my mp3 player too!

haha~ the list is getting nowhere..

mumbling on
Saturday, December 02, 2006 at 12:49 AM