its more than words

- the words -

- the wants -

+ ~~braces~~

- the lovelies -

+ charmie
+ clifton
+ chaowei
+ fabian
+ haolingz
+ horng yunn
+ huisan
+ jabriel
+ jared
+ jamie
+ janessa
+ jolyn
+ KingKongJane
+ marvin
+ mee
+ ninja
+ paul
+ samuel
+ serene
+ sharon
+ sheya
+ sis
+ sophia
+ Teng
+ ning

- the past -

June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
March 2011
December 2011
February 2012
November 2012
January 2013
August 2013

- now playing -

goel's feedback survey

this is super funny la..

i rmb myself sitting in his lecture listening to the exact same thing n laughing my head off a yr ago..regarding on wat students wrote on his feedback survey form. i must say goel (opps.. prof goel i mean..) is reli GOOD!!! i tink he got the most outstanding teaching award two yrs in a row..

he's one of the better lecturers ard NTU of cos..

in his lecture, he DONT allow students to take out hp, dont let ppl sleep in his class, dont even allow us to talk to each other. so other than his voice, its all silence..n ppl trying to kp themselves awake. o.O haha~

n i guess his style of teaching reli works.. cos none other lectures can make me as awake as in his... n yets, love his lecture to bits.
...and someone posted this on 'youtube'.. muaha~
Goel rocks~ =)

mumbling on
Tuesday, October 31, 2006 at 9:02 PM

resilience of life

i learnt a term that day.

"resilience of life"

n then i realise how much it can b applied to everyone's life.

resilience meaning the ability to recover from shocks, depression, misfortune, insult, disturbance. its like the resistance in life.. the more down u are in life, the tougher u get.

take the spirit of the weed, fight for the sunshine amongst all the pretty flowers n trees n watever other plants. the strong will in living n not giving up.. v much admired.

so, being a highly intelligent creature living on earth, shldnt we stand up strong n not b defeated so easily? how many times hav u hear urself say "give up"? how many times hav u tell urself "let it be"? is it ok to let things go "as its course"? or shld we try to do sth in order to change it, to make it "go in the way u want it to be"? this sounds selfish now.. hmm.. doing sth tt u want, strive it, achieve it, attain it. but wat if its unattainable? give up? or kp on trying? n even when the other party gets sick of u n starts to treat u like a pest? give up? o.O is it worth it after all? the pains n hurts tt u've gone thru.. all become a nought. den in the first place, there's no pt in trying. jus give up straight away! but tts not the right way though.. cos nobody ever noe the outcome. okies.. i'm bringing u n myself in circles. contradictory...

i've read "being happy" by andrew matthews.

i WAS inspired. it said live a life NOW. not in the past, not in the future. many ppl kp procrastinating their happiness.. they say, "when i score 3 As i'll b happy" den they scored n did well but they are not happy yet. so, they'll say, "when i get my honours i'll b happy". honours in hand, but wat nx? "when i found a job i'll b happy". job found n u still hear them say, "when i'm promoted n fetching a salary of 6k, i'll b happy" and when will it end? after promotion, after marriage, after having children, after worrying abt ur child's life.. when is happiness gg to come? by tt time when u decided to b happy, u are alr sleeping in the coffin. for a moment, it make sense to me..n i realise, "hey! its time to b happy! n it shall starts TODAY!!" hurhur.. how effective. how many times do i feel reli happy frm the heart?

positive thinking, positive thinking..

count my blessings.

b content wif wat i hav now.

but can i hav the big foot giant story tonight?

mumbling on
Saturday, October 28, 2006 at 11:39 PM

i miss u

its getting overly exaggerating getting into tutorial classes these days..

can u believe it? ppl stop gg for their registered classes.. (including me of cos)...

n start handpicking those tutors tt is especially gd n faithfully went to their lesson instead.

i crashed two classes today.. n to my horror.. the class was so packed that ppl start moving chairs into the room.. the most er xin thing was.. i was 5 minutes early!!!!! o.O

hais.. in the end.. i missed one class n my timetable got jumble up againz. i missed xiao tian's 3012 class!!!!!! havent go to his class for 2 weeks? i miss his class.... >.<

i kp feeling v lethargic recently..

even if i hav enuf slp.. i still feel v tired.

was it physical or mental fatigue? i dunno.

i missed doing a lot of stuffs.

i miss huisan. i wan go vie n look for her.

i miss prawning.

i miss softball.

i miss ur naggings n concern.

i miss laughing.

i miss ktv.

i miss having more $$ than now.

the list can go on n on n on...hais.

jiayun, wake up.

counting down alr starts...!

mumbling on
Thursday, October 26, 2006 at 9:42 PM

motorola interview

i'm starting to feel the exams stress alr..

great studying wif andy n esther ytd..at least it gets me started to study.

n finally.. i got my attachment interview!!!!!

yesyes.. at motorola too~ =D

it was so screwed initially cos i didnt sent a reply confirmation to them..

n all except my name was unconfirmed.

but luckily they still let me to b interviewed..

the interviewer talked ALOT abt software programming..

java.. ODBC-bridge.. database.. classes.. SQL.. c sharp/ c++...

oh manz.. i was a bit stunned n didnt recall tt i applied for software programming.

anyhows.. i smoked n tried to answer to my best ability.

i dunno how to write a full detailed program to activate a specific function of the mobile phone, i dunno my java n c++ well enuf to b qualified for tt..

i tink i'll jus DIE if i reli get tt IA.

-_________-

it was a pleasant interview though.. not many tough qns tt i cant ans..

n he seems to b a nicey person too. =)

study! jiayun, STUDY!!

void of feelings.. void of wild thoughts.

mumbling on
Wednesday, October 18, 2006 at 5:16 PM

thoughts

i've been talking to myself in the head so much tt its driving me crazy.

i know, i know.

i'm sorry i cant forgive myself, i cant forget what u did either.

the hurt n pain tt it brought is far too much tt i can handle so cooly, like u did.

i know i'm stupid.. n many ppl hav told me tt. not worth it, i've heard.

i cant believe u can b so nonchalant abt me now.

all the words u said are bullshit. i dont wan to bring it up againz. i guess u will hate me more.

jiayun isnt like this.. i've lost control of myself.

when u wrecked n turn my world upside down.. when u gave me up n stop loving.

when u are all happy n "less pressurised' now.

when all the sweet-nothings turn to b bullshit.

when i'm hurting myself far too much n the pain becomes immuned.

when i cannot stop my tears n hating myself.

when u turn a deaf ear to everything i've said.

the sucky feeling nv ends..

thoughts flooding my mind.

the internal struggle is building a tension tts pulling on my nerves.

hide it, conceal it n put in a dark corner of the room.

i'll survive though..

i'll b stronger than wad i tink.

i'm not gg to b defeated by u.

mumbling on
Saturday, October 14, 2006 at 10:01 PM

acoustic

i realise i havent been reading the newspaper or watch the news.

until when i asked abt the recent haze. >.<

olrights.. i'm IGNORANT.

anyways the haze is reli reli bad. but it looks so much better today?

___

ytd was my last day of work at acoustic.

as usual, i was drunk.

well, not my first waitressing job.. but den when i take up tt pub waitressing, i didnt expect myself to have to entertain customers. i jus want to gain abit of experience in the night life. a different kind of job experience. it wasnt ez money when i first started working, in fact, i reli hate the place n dread to go work. i dont like having to talk to ppl i'm unfamiliar wif.i dont like to smile at them when their sight irks me. i dont like playing n drinking wif ppl i dunno. but well, its my job? i thot it will b like normal waitressing.. as in, jus serve the drinks? hmm.. naive thinking. i simply dont like it. plus, i have to bring in customers whenever i work.

but as time goes by, i begin to find the place like a small family. lady boss treats me reli gd.. i gave her my due respect n reli listens to her. she scolded me whenever she saw me cry. she stop me from crying. she took care of me when i was drunk. she protected me frm er xin customers. she appreciates wat i've done.she said she dotes on me alot.its more like a nice cosy place kind of feeling now.

____

i quit to concentrate on studying.

so nx two months i'll b damn broke.

boohoo~

mumbling on
Sunday, October 08, 2006 at 2:15 PM

rain

"有人说，雨三天三夜下不停
代表天使在哭泣，泪水坠落人间
等到雨过天晴，天使不哭了
带着微笑，让泪水蒸发成为空气
围绕这世界。
天使的眼泪，为人类带来祝福，快乐...

因为雨过，是会天晴的"

你还记得吗？

mumbling on
Friday, October 06, 2006 at 11:33 PM

for mee

i'm sorry mee...

i sux~ i'm supposed to acc u to interview at motorola today...

n yet.. i woke up at 11!!!! gosh.. partly cos of work ytd night.. n cos of the the clock on my wall tt spoiled. kp showing 930am.. okok.. the biggest problem is me.

urgh!! i hate it. cant fulfil wat i promised to ppl.

i'm reli sorry girl~ hope the interview went well? n hope u will get it!!! =D

mumbling on
at 9:09 PM

bored

i wanted to blog.

but after writing a whole chunk, i deleted all.

haha~ weird me.

had quizzes these two weeks.. n it has been quite bad so far.

this week is my last week at acoustic. i finally tell lady boss tt i want to quit.

i wan to study.

i know i can do it..

i know the feeling of being thrown in a corner.. the feeling of not being loved anymore.

i wan bring mee to prawn!! cos i feel like prawning.. n bbq-ing..

T.T

tmr she got interview at motorola for her attachment..

good luck GIRL!!!!

i havent get mine... >.<

mumbling on
Thursday, October 05, 2006 at 6:24 PM

notstudying

yesyes.. i AM supposed to study at this time.

my notes all laid nicely in front of me - untouched.

cos tmr is my 3001 quiz.. n i'm not even halfway there.

oh crapz. why why why!!!!! nv ending piles of tutorials. T.T

n later still got sth onz in the evening.. *screAms*

if the time will stop..

if everything else freezes in the world except me..

den i would.....

hmm.. wad wld u do?

mumbling on
Sunday, October 01, 2006 at 2:04 PM